Moving in Together

So you're thinking of taking the plunge and moving in with your boyfriend or girlfriend. After dating for a while, the topic eventually comes up. As you may already know from my previous blogs, I have been dating my boyfriend, Lee, for about three years now, but I have been friends with Lee for almost five years. It was just under two years of dating that we started talking about moving in together.

To give a little insight into our relationship, Lee and I met while I was working in Walt Disney World for my Disney College Program. During my program, Lee and I were just friends. After my 6 month program, I moved back to New Jersey. For the entire year I was back in New Jersey, Lee and I spoke everyday and visited each other frequently. When I moved back to Florida in 2016, Lee and I began to officially date. We lived apart for two years and went through two leases each before we decided to just move in together. Regardless of our separate apartments, though, Lee and I spent almost every night together for those two years. Our clothes and personal items were at one another's places and we were spending more money then necessary to keep up with two different apartments. So with that, we started looking for places together.

When I told my parents about it, they weren't really phased. They knew that Lee and I always stayed at each other's places anyway, so it only made sense to join in on rent. My mom, however, loved to randomly remind me that she did not move in with my dad until they were married and that I'll never get a proposal if I give him all this commitment without being engaged first. While I understood the logic, I strongly feel that moving in together is the PERFECT way to see if you can spend the rest of your life with someone.

Lee and I have a great dynamic. We very rarely argue, but when we do, it's over silly things like laundry, garbage, and dishes. The difference between living with a friend, versus a significant other, is the way you communicate. When you move in with your partner, you really get to see every side of them. The good, the grumpy, the lazy and the silly. There's no hiding any faux pas, like how I love to run the shower for a million hours before I actually jump inside, or how Lee sets 10 million alarms to wake up in the morning... yeah, I hate that one. But, you learn to adapt to them. That's what a relationship is, learning about each other's weird quirks and flaws and being able to look past them and love them for who they are.

Will things change if you move in? Probably. You're going from seeing someone most of the time to all the time. Moving in with someone can completely change the dynamic of your relationship when it comes to conversations, intimacy, general habits and even your relationships with your friends. It was really easy to keep up with my friendships when I lived with most of them. I just had to roll out of bed and someone would be home to talk to. Moving in with Lee changed that. 80% of the time I am home alone due to our work schedules and it can definitely become lonely. That's why, in my opinion, it is super important to take your time to grow your independence, find yourself, and be comfortable being on your own before you make that plunge.

Moving in with your significant other is not for everyone. If you have only been dating for a few months, it's probably not a wise choice. If you do decide to move in together, though, know that change is good. Just because things between you and your partner may be different, doesn't mean it's bad. Take these opportunities to grow with each other and create new adventures together. Come up with crazy conversations, different date ideas, and new ways to learn more about one another. Lee and I have been living together now for over a year and it was definitely one of the best decision I ever made.